l'esprit d'escalier

You are a fucking asshole.
& I'm really glad you're leaving. Good riddance.
You fucking deserve it, Brett Favre. You really do.

You know what's really embarrassing for you?
1.) You have made a complete fool out of the Green Bay Packers for no good reason.
2.) Now everyone sees you for the douche bag you apparently are.
3.) You've been traded to the fucking lame-ass New York Jets.

You know what's even more embarrassing for me?
1.) I cried when you announced your retirement.
2.) & I wore black the entire week following that "godforsaken" press conference.
3.) Yes, I used to use the word "godforsaken" when talking about that damn press conference.

Thanks for all that, Brett Favre. I thought we actually had something.
So, have fun with the Jets. I hope you get turf toe , tear your meniscus and pull a hamstring.

Your UnConditionally Loving Fan,
Anne

I know this sounds like it may or may not be a painfully boring little post o' mine, but then I guess it'll just fit right in with the rest of them. I mean, give me a break. I can't be as exciting as the rest of you all the time.

So, the topic of the moment: Knol.
Now if you don't know what Knol is, here's a definition:

Knol: n. 1. unit of knowledge. 2. Google's attempt to capitalize on the popularity of Wikipedia in hopes to eventually monopolize as the internet's number one place for individuals to show other individuals how much shit they know. 3. A new word created by Google for their program that will most likely be added to Webster's Dictionary by 2010 when Google decides to buy out or "acquire" Webster's too... or do they already own it?

Some good ol' fashion competition right here folks: Wikipedia v. Google's Knol.
This is going to be a pretty good knock-down-drag-out between two internet powerhouses. I'm pretty excited.

I mean Google practically came out and said they'd like to outdo Wikipedia just by first addressing all the common complaints about Wikipedia. But when asked about the "attack," Google says they don't intend to take business from Wikipedia. (riiiiight) And Wikipedia, being the awesome website it is, just said something along the lines of, "More free and accurate information on the internet? We'll support that." Which is pretty badass even though they're probably about to shit their pants out of fear.
 
I mean, I'd be shitting my pants too if Google created a clone of me. It'd probably have some kinks at first, but after a couple months, I can guarantee Anne v2.0 by Google would be faster, easier to use, and all around more productive then Anne v1.0.
Sorry Mom, you had the right idea, but Google totally has more money and better engineers to work around the clock and create a better daughter than you did. I bet my mom would feel a lot like the founders of Wikipedia (Larry Sanger & Jimmy Wales) do right now. 

You know, the best part about this is that if you search "Knol" on Google, the Wikipedia article for Knol comes up before the actual Knol website. You should try it. It's absolutely hilarious. Honestly, I couldn't really believe it at first, so I re-searched it 3 times before I thought, "Wow, Google. That sucks."
And to top it off, the picture on the Wikipedia "Knol" article is of the Knol "Wikipedia" article.
Is that followable? How ridiculous.

Also, the Onion has a cute little infographic about it.

PS: I think really, this is just another step in Google's Master Plan to take over the world. Just saying...

PPS: There's this really awesome handlebar mustache sitting a couple tables away. Recently I had a conversation with a good friend who's growing a mustache, about how I don't really like them.
Normally, I think beards are a lot more attractive, but this guy? Sitting two tables away? That handlebar mustache on him is pretty damn attractive and I'll have to inform said good friend that my opinion has changed drastically.

So, I feel obligated to write here now that I have a computer, and an interesting life.* 

So I've finally entered a real-life industry that I'm actually excited about.

Can't sleep. Lame.
Also, didn't know I could post from my phone.
This is awesomeness.

Due to the fact, I've had no computer for almost 10 months now, I haven't posted on here regularly in forever.
But as of this moment, because of my phone, which is able to do lots of things, this all might change now. Unfortunately for both me and the manufacturers of said phone, I haven't used it to it's full capacity because I don't know how to do all those things. All I've really figured out on this technologically savvy brick is phone calls, texting, the internet and as of today, emails... if I can remember how I got here in the first place.*

I've put off buying a new computer since I was so eloquently informed by the Geek Squad guy at Best Buy that my last lappy would never come back to life because I "killed it."
I know, I had no idea machines could die either.
For some misguided reason, I was under the impression computers weren't living in the first place. Shows how much I know.
Me = Living under a rock

*= If you recommend reading the instruction booklet, it's worthless advice. Besides the fact that I think I used it for fire kindling(sp?) months ago, I've only ever read the instruction book for two things in my entire life.

1.) Pirate Lego playset. 5 yrs.
I read it. Hated all the ways it wanted me to put the pirate ship together, threw it out and built a bigger and better pirate ship than the picture on the box.
This was the beginning of my distaste of instruction booklets.

2.) Singer Serger.** 21 yrs.
Read the instruction booklet only when I realized it couldn't be used until I attached necessary parts.
Small hiatus from boycott of instruction booklets until parts fixed in place and machine was useable.

**= fancy specialty sewing machine. Does things at the touch of a button, that I wouldn't be able to do in 25 yrs. Miracle in a box.

200hea7en:

Became completely financially independent of my parents.

Quit smoking. (guess the matches don't apply any longer, huh?)

Had my first mature relationship.

Joined the work force fulltime.

Cut a foot off my hair.

Started running/working out for the first time in my life.

Began a savings account that has accumulated quite a bit of cash.

Bought a sidekick. (No, not the midget kind; the phone kind.)

Turned 21. 

Also:

I need to mention that on April 1st, the Colour Revolt album comes out. Don't know who they are? I've just given you all the tools you need to educate yourself. You better fucking do it. Love them.

So, today was a fucking awful day.

Awful isn't the right word, but it's the first that came to mind.

It started ok. I mean, it was like any other day. I got up, got dressed, went to work, wasn't late, was in a good mood. What could possibly go wrong? 

With the way my day went, I'm surprised I'm still alive. Ok, so I'm being a little overdramatic.

Now, I'm not going to go into listing all the things that went wrong, because I'll be honest, you wouldn't get it. Not that you don't understand things of such caliber or that I assume you've never gone through things as terrible as this.

In fact, it's the exact opposite. These things that happened today aren't really all that big or lifechanging. They just all happened within the same 24 hours, were less than positive, and when compiled, made for a very bad day. And once those events bled into my daily life, which was inevitable, it set a series of events in motion, and there was no saving the rest of the day.

You know when you just have those days where the planets align to cause as many small catastrophes as possible in your lame excuse for a life? Where everything you come in contact with disintegrates under your fingertips and you're pretty fucking positive it's just because you exist? And it's not because you did anything wrong, it's because, without consent from the future you, two people decided to bring you into this world and due to those goddamn planets, you have no choice but to ruin people's lives and make things fall to pieces, today.

Not tomorrow.

Not yesterday.

Not 3 weeks in the future.

Or 8 years down the road.

Today.

Now that's fucked up.

Christ.

He left earlier today.

I coped via alcohol* with the drummer's wife.

(My guy plays guitar.)

We hate nmk (translation: their band). Seriously.

July was the best.

The. Absolute. Fucking. Best.**

him. me.

1 comment

Here's the schedule in which the amount he's home is apt to shrink:

19 days away. 1 day back.

2 days away. 8 days back.

18 days away. ? days back.

And that takes us to the end of September.

Past that, your guess is as good as ours.

*-and by alcohol, I mean margaritas from Rosepepper and pickleshots from RedDoorEast.

Rosepepper makes the best margaritas in Nashville. Everybody knows it.

and RedDoorEast has these amazing pickleshots.

They consist of a shot of tequila, followed by a shot of bloody mary mix and finished with a pickle.

It's the best thing I've ever tasted in my life.

If you live in Nashville, and haven't had a pickleshot ever, let me know and I'll be there to join you for your first one.

**-I'll have to elaborate later. I'm fucking tired.

In other random news:
I hate my job.
I need a new one.
and I've been designing and making clothing again.*
I used my sewing machine for the first time in a year and 3 months.**
It went awesome.

Next month, is an exciting month.
July is going to be fucking fantastic.
Now, I know what you're thinking:
"Anne, how could you possibly know that next month is going to be ten times better than this month?"
Well, because it's not.
It's going to be 80 million times better!

My reasoning behind such a concept:
1.) Previously mentioned guy gets back into town.
2.) Said guy has pretty much told me all the things we're doing over the next month:
3.) Drive-In movie theater (I had no idea these places even still existed.) in Kentucky.
4.) Road trip to unknown location.
5.) Movie Madness(es). Multiple ones, not just a single one.
6.) Sleepovers in my king size bed.
7.) And it's for a whole month!

Guy tours with a band. They're gone until July 2nd.
He's already stated that we have "ridiculous catching up to do."
I love my life.

Also, in July I'm in a wedding, have a family reunion, and eat hotdogs for the 4th of July.
 
Hotdogs always taste better under two conditions:
1.) On the 4th of July
or
2.) In a ballpark, football stadium, or hockey arena.
True story.